40 Common Myths About Divorce in Ontario

Navigating divorce in Ontario can be challenging, especially with the many myths surrounding the process. Misinformation can lead to unnecessary stress and costly mistakes. Here, we debunk 60 common myths about divorce, shedding light on what the law truly entails.

Myth #1: My spouse moved out of our home six months ago, so we are separated, right?

This myth is common because physical separation is often mistaken for legal separation. In Ontario, separation goes beyond simply living in different locations; it requires a clear intention to end the relationship. While a physical move might indicate separation, both spouses must have an understanding that they no longer wish to continue their relationship as a couple. Legal separation can sometimes even occur under the same roof, provided that emotional and marital ties are dissolved.

Myth #2: I can get a fast divorce if my spouse and I agree on property, custody, and support issues.

While mutual agreement on key issues can simplify the process, there are still steps that must be followed, even in uncontested divorces. Ontario law requires a waiting period and documentation to ensure that both parties are in agreement and have had time to consider the implications of the divorce. The divorce process typically includes a one-year separation period, except in cases of proven cruelty or adultery, meaning a truly “fast” divorce is rare.

Myth #3: Grandparents have a right to see their grandchildren.

In Ontario, grandparents do not automatically have legal rights to access their grandchildren. Custody and visitation decisions are based on the best interests of the child, prioritizing the parents’ rights to decide what is best for their children. However, if a grandparent can demonstrate that their involvement is beneficial for the child, they may be able to petition for visitation rights, though it is not guaranteed.

Myth #4: I have proof that my spouse cheated on me, so they’ll have to pay more in support.

Adultery can be deeply hurtful, but Ontario’s divorce and spousal support laws are based on financial needs, not on marital conduct. Even if one spouse has been unfaithful, support payments are typically unaffected by behavior. Courts determine support based on income, needs, and length of marriage, not fault or blame.

Myth #5: Mothers always get custody of the children.

This belief stems from historical biases, but Ontario’s family law treats both parents equally. Custody arrangements are based solely on the child’s best interests, and fathers have equal rights to pursue custody or joint custody. Ontario courts examine each parent’s role, involvement, and ability to provide a stable environment rather than presuming a particular outcome based on gender.

Myth #6: The law treats a traditional marriage and my common-law relationship the same when it ends.

Traditional marriages and common-law relationships differ significantly under Ontario law, especially regarding property division. Common-law spouses are not automatically entitled to property accumulated during the relationship unless they have formal agreements. Spouses in traditional marriages, however, have specific property rights under the Family Law Act, which mandates equal division of marital property.

Myth #7: I can use evidence from my spouse’s computer to prove adultery.

Gathering evidence without consent, such as reading a spouse’s private emails, can backfire. Ontario privacy laws protect individuals from unauthorized access to their personal information. Courts may not accept evidence gathered this way and could consider it a privacy violation. If you suspect adultery, consult a lawyer to ensure any evidence gathering complies with legal standards.

Myth #8: I can withhold child access if my spouse is behind on support payments.

Child support and child access rights are treated as separate matters in Ontario. Withholding access as a consequence of unpaid child support is illegal and can lead to legal repercussions. If your spouse is not meeting support obligations, it’s best to address the matter through the court rather than taking matters into your own hands, as this can impact your own custody or access rights.

Myth #9: I won’t have to pay child support for my partner’s children if we separate because I’m not the biological parent.

In Ontario, child support obligations can extend to stepparents or common-law partners if they have acted as a parental figure to the children. Courts consider emotional and financial contributions in these cases, meaning non-biological parents may still have child support responsibilities.

Myth #10: Money gifted by my parents to pay off our mortgage should come back to me in the divorce.

Once a gift is used for a marital asset like the family home, it often becomes part of the marital property and may not be fully recoverable. In Ontario, gifts or inheritances can be considered individual property if kept separate, but once they’re used jointly, such as paying down a mortgage, they are generally considered shared.

Myth #11: I can drain our joint bank account if I’m leaving the marriage.

Taking unilateral actions on joint finances, like draining bank accounts, can be detrimental to your case. Ontario courts expect financial transparency during separation, and removing significant funds without the other party’s knowledge may result in legal consequences. Shared assets should be divided fairly, and any removal of funds should ideally be agreed upon or documented.

Myth #12: I can make large purchases for personal use even during the divorce process.

Any major financial decision during a separation, especially luxury purchases, could be scrutinized by the court. Unnecessary spending on assets like cars or vacations can be questioned, especially if it affects the division of marital property. Courts may look at whether these expenses were reasonable, particularly if family finances are already stretched.

Myth #13: I need a vacation to cope with the stress of divorce, and I borrowed the money from my family to do it.

Debt taken on during the marriage, even if it is a family loan, should be disclosed to avoid complications. If one party is borrowing funds to manage divorce-related stress, that loan may still need to be factored into the division of assets or debt settlement.

Myth #14: Posting about my spouse’s infidelity on social media is harmless.

Publicly discussing private issues, especially those related to divorce or family disputes, can harm your case. Ontario courts frown upon defamatory or inflammatory social media activity, and it could negatively impact your custody, support claims, or general court standing.

Myth #15: Moving out will speed up the divorce process and reduce stress.

While it may seem practical to move out during a contentious separation, leaving the marital home without a plan can complicate matters. Ontario courts look at who maintains residency in the home when dividing assets, and leaving could affect your claim to the property or your standing in custody arrangements. Consulting a lawyer before making such decisions is essential.

Myth #16: Lawyers make the divorce process more complicated than necessary.

Divorce law in Ontario requires specific steps to ensure fairness and legality. While lawyers must follow these steps, their role is to help protect your rights and navigate the law’s complexities. Sometimes, what may seem like additional steps are necessary to comply with Ontario’s legal standards and can prevent future issues.

Myth #17: Lawyers make the divorce process more expensive than it needs to be.

Legal representation can feel costly, but avoiding proper legal advice may lead to greater financial risks. Lawyers can help ensure fair agreements and clarify rights around complex issues like property division and support, helping you avoid costly mistakes down the line.

Myth #18: I don’t need a lawyer because the court will protect my interests.

While courts aim to ensure fair treatment, they cannot provide specific legal advice or act in one party’s interest. Self-representation carries the risk of missing critical steps, misinterpreting laws, or conceding on key issues that could impact custody, support, or asset division outcomes.

Myth #19: Divorce is always a long and drawn-out process.

Divorce timelines depend largely on the complexity of the case and whether it is contested. Uncontested divorces with mutual agreements can be relatively swift, though the one-year separation period still generally applies. For contentious cases, the process may take longer, but a lawyer can help manage the timeline efficiently.

Myth #20: Once a divorce agreement is signed, it cannot be changed.

In Ontario, divorce agreements can be modified if there are substantial changes in circumstances, such as income shifts, relocation, or changes in a child’s needs. Courts allow these agreements to be revisited to reflect current realities, so it’s not necessarily permanent.

Myth #21: Only one lawyer is needed for both spouses in a divorce.

While it may seem simpler or cheaper to share a lawyer, Ontario law requires that each spouse has independent legal representation to avoid conflicts of interest. Independent legal advice ensures that both parties fully understand their rights and obligations, helping to prevent issues or disputes over the fairness of the agreement.

Myth #22: Property is always divided equally in a divorce.

Property division in Ontario doesn’t automatically mean a 50/50 split. Instead, the law follows an equalization process, where each spouse’s assets are totaled and adjusted based on debts. This process ensures a fair distribution but may not result in a strict half-and-half split.

Myth #23: Child support payments end when a child turns 18.

While 18 is often the age of majority, child support does not necessarily end then. In Ontario, if a child is still financially dependent due to attending school or a disability, support may continue until they become financially independent, which may be beyond 18 years.

Myth #24: I can hide assets to avoid sharing them in a divorce.

Attempting to hide assets is both unethical and illegal in Ontario. Courts require full financial disclosure from both parties, and failing to disclose assets could result in penalties, additional legal costs, and even criminal charges. Transparency is essential in ensuring fair asset division.

Myth #25: If I pay all household bills, I will get a larger share of the assets.

Even if one spouse pays more toward household expenses, it does not automatically translate to a higher share of assets in a divorce. Ontario’s family law looks at equalization rather than contribution-based ownership. Contributions may be considered in some cases, but they don’t guarantee a larger share.

Myth #26: Divorces are always public, so everyone will know my personal details.

While Ontario’s court system is public, family court records are generally not open for public scrutiny, and some proceedings can be kept private. Sensitive information, especially concerning children or finances, may have limited accessibility, depending on the case and court orders.

Myth #27: If my spouse files for divorce first, they will have an advantage.

The notion that being the first to file for divorce offers a tactical advantage is largely a myth. Ontario law is impartial, and both parties have equal standing regardless of who initiates the process. Filing first may offer psychological benefits but does not legally affect the outcome.

Myth #28: I don’t need to worry about the tax implications of my divorce.

Divorce can have significant tax implications in Ontario, from the treatment of spousal support to the division of property and RRSPs. Consulting a tax advisor or lawyer is essential to ensure that you understand how the division of assets and support payments may impact your tax situation.

Myth #29: My spouse can’t claim my inheritance in the divorce.

While inheritances are typically excluded from the division of property, if you have used inherited funds toward marital assets like the family home, it may become part of the shared property. Keeping inherited funds separate is key to protecting them in a divorce.

Myth #30: If we’ve been married for a long time, I’ll automatically receive alimony for life.

Ontario courts determine spousal support based on several factors, including length of marriage, financial need, and ability to earn. Permanent support is rare and generally applies only in cases where a spouse cannot reasonably become self-sufficient.

Myth #31: Child support can be negotiated privately between us.

In Ontario, child support is based on the Federal Child Support Guidelines, which calculate payments based on income and custody arrangements. While parents may reach an agreement, it should align with these guidelines; otherwise, courts may adjust the arrangement if challenged.

Myth #32: I don’t need to worry about my business in a divorce.

Business assets can be part of the marital property. If you own a business, its value may be subject to division or equalization. This can complicate the financial aspects of divorce, so having a lawyer assess your business interests is essential to protect your investment.

Myth #33: Divorce mediation is only for amicable separations.

Mediation is not limited to amicable divorces. It can be a valuable process even in contentious situations, offering a structured setting for negotiation. Mediation allows both parties to reach agreements on property, support, or custody with the help of a neutral third party, often reducing conflict and costs.

Myth #34: If we’ve been separated for over a year, we are automatically divorced.

A one-year separation is a common basis for divorce but does not automatically finalize it. In Ontario, you still need to apply to the court for a divorce order and go through the necessary legal steps before the divorce is official.

Myth #35: A prenuptial agreement will prevent all issues in a divorce.

While prenuptial agreements (or marriage contracts) provide protection and clarity, they may not prevent all disputes. Courts can overturn parts of an agreement if they find it unfair or if circumstances have changed significantly, so it’s essential to have these agreements reviewed regularly.

Myth #36: My spouse’s debt is not my problem in the divorce.

In Ontario, individual debts generally stay with the person who incurred them, but joint debts and certain shared obligations may still impact both spouses. If debt was accumulated for family purposes, it may be shared in the financial settlement, depending on individual agreements and responsibilities.

Myth #37: Common-law partners don’t need to worry about support payments.

Common-law partners may be required to pay spousal support if they have lived together for three or more years or have a child together. Courts consider factors such as financial dependency and contributions made during the relationship, even without a formal marriage.

Myth #38: Divorce is solely a legal battle.

Divorce involves more than legal considerations; it’s also an emotional and financial process that affects each person’s well-being and future stability. Addressing financial planning, mental health, and family support can be as crucial as legal representation.

Myth #39: Courts always divide everything 50/50 in a divorce.

While Ontario law emphasizes an equalization of net family property, this does not mean an exact 50/50 split of each asset. Equalization focuses on achieving fairness by balancing the total value of assets and liabilities rather than dividing each item.

Myth #40: My spouse is responsible for paying my legal fees if they initiated the divorce.

In Ontario, each spouse is generally responsible for their own legal fees unless a judge orders otherwise. Courts may order one party to pay some or all legal costs in cases where they have acted unreasonably or caused unnecessary delays, but this is not guaranteed.

Conclusion

Understanding the realities of divorce law in Ontario can help you navigate this challenging process with greater confidence and clarity. The myths surrounding divorce are often rooted in outdated assumptions or misinformation that can lead to costly mistakes. Whether it’s the role of lawyers, misconceptions about custody and support, or misunderstandings about asset division, having accurate information is essential for making informed decisions.

At Kozyrev Law P.C., we prioritize guiding our clients through the complexities of divorce law, ensuring they are fully informed and empowered every step of the way. If you’re facing a separation or divorce, consulting with a qualified family lawyer can provide the support and clarity needed to protect your rights and secure your future. By dispelling myths and understanding the actual legal landscape, you can move forward with confidence and peace of mind.